Saturday, December 20, 2014

A Huge Update

1. I am so sorry for not getting to reply to your comments/messages/posts. I really do not like the new Wattpad format as it doesn't show me them, or even close to half of them and I don't end up seeing them until super duper late D:

2. Hiatus means my stories are currently not being written. At. All. That doesn't mean I won't finish them - I hope to at some point. But I'm kind of on a semi-hiatus from Wattpad myself, and not writing whatsoever.

3. I'm about to get really personal right now, but I believe that you guys deserve to know what's going on with me. I used to write every single day, and even upload a chapter, if not two, every single day. Writing is my passion and it will always will be - I'm not giving up on it or taking a hiatus from it intentionally.

As some of you may know, I have a severe anxiety disorder. I can't attend normal school/college, I don't do a lot of social things, I have some very bad days and so on. But recently I was diagnosed also with depression. That resulted in my anxiety medication being changed, and that caused me to feel much, much worse. (along with some personal issues)

Anxiety and depression are a lot scarier to me than a broken arm or a stomach ache.  They aren't psychical - they're inside your head, and therefore, they're YOU. They change your personality, your way of thinking, everything that makes you you until you don't know who you are anymore or how you're supposed to feel.  Changing medication causes withdrawals which amplify that effect  and also cause things like shivers, itchiness, shocks, not eating, etc.  So while I've been dealing with my mental illnesses, I've  also been dealing with the side effects. And as much as I miss writing, and absolutely love it, it has been extremely hard for me to even think about it in the last year.

But here's where it gets better. I'm getting better. I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way. It might take a while, but I'm trying. A few weeks ago, I wrote for the first time in almost a year. To me, that is progress.

Wattpad is the very thing that took my writing to another level and made it my passion. I'm not quitting,  and I not only owe it to you guys to keep going, but also to myself.

Thank you guys so much for being understanding. I love each and every one of your beautiful souls <3

- Monst3rs/Lindsay

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